I Know, 'Right'

Do you believe there is a 'right' time for everything? I once read a quote that said, "If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." Wow, so true. I base a lot of things in life on feelings. I know, probably not always the smartest tactic, but at least I know I am doing what makes me happy in that moment. Consequences often come later, but the feeling I get when I'm doing something so great is worth whatever comes later. Lately, though, I have been trying to put more thought into things instead of just rushing head first into a shallow sea of opportunity.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

You never know who or what will come into your life, but if you don't allow them to come in you will never truly know what effect they would have had on or in your life. While I used to, I never pass up the opportunity for a little 'newness' to come into my life, especially with meeting people. I have had a bad run with boys, but there lies my first problem: boys. Not men, boys. The only common factor in each of my exes (with the exception of one or two) is that each was an asshole and still remain assholes. Once an asshole, always an asshole. I don't care what people say. The same goes for addiction. It is just something that lives inside. It never goes away. It just has to be battled everyday, but people don't actually change - they suppress and 'edit'.

I'm a very intuitive person. They say your first gut feeling is always the right one, but my problem is that I tend to ignore it and hope for the best. Well, that was the old me. The new me has been building a personal relationship with my gut and we are working on our communication. I have always ignored that nagging little voice inside that says I'm headed into a big, nasty storm but I've been through one too many ponchos and rain boots. I'm ready to get rid of the frizzy hair and runny mascara and live in the sunshine.

I have been spending more time with my friends lately and I have been reminded just how lucky I am. I have the most amazing friends anyone could ever hope for. They never hide their true feelings from me in fear they may hurt mine. In the end truth prevails. It hurts less in the beginning than towards the end. They love me enough to throw me back into reality and are willing to get their hands dirty in the process. They only have my best interest at heart and for that I am grateful, because I can only offer the same to them in return ... and I do.