Yep, I pulled that phrase right out of the 90's.
I am still shocked by the number of pretentious people in this world. While sitting at a local restaurant / lounge last weekend I found myself doing what I always do when I am anywhere other than my bedroom - people watching. I was in an upscale neighborhood, full of young professionals. The crowd varied from young girls probably celebrating their 21st birthday to scantily clad females vying for the attention of anything with a penis to the guys dressed in their Lacoste polos and Ferragamos to the Guido-esque fellas just looking for a girl to take home. It was actually quite comical.
I am sure you are wondering where I fit in. Some would love to hear that I am one of the girls in the short dresses with hardly enough fabric to leave much to the imagination and some would love to hear that I was dressed in a business suit, there for a business dinner. Who am I kidding and who are you kidding? They all want me in the hooker-wear. Sorry to disappoint, but I was dressed in full black and the only skin that was showing were my hands, face and neck.
But back to my point, everyone was there for a reason whether it was for inebriation or a one night stand. Very few people go out just for the sole purpose of having a good time. I can proudly say that I have never met some random guy at a bar and disappeared with him. I may seem a prude, but it is my life and my choice and looking back I am perfectly content with my lack of hook ups. Now, I will say that on several occasions I have done all in my power to forget my life for a few hours by consuming shots of Tanqueray (yes gin and thus giving me the nickname "Tank") and downing various flavors of cider, spirits and sake. Oh and then there are my wine-o nights too. Gotta love those. There was a time in my life where I could drink most guys to shame and wake up the next day ready for a game of full-contact football, but these days ... not so much. Granted I am only 26 - still a spring chicken - but the body isn't as willing to accept that. After numerous head concussions, broken bones, torn ligaments, surgeries and countless other injuries hangovers are a way of saying "Tiff, you are just not cut out for this lifestyle anymore" and I am fine with that except on the occasion that I want to cut loose and enjoy a glass of vino with pals while singing karaoke until 3:30 AM or watch the Super Bowl with a cider in hand. Life is so cruel.
It is just so entertaining to eavesdrop on others' conversations. I have certain rules about judging others and making assumptions, but some of those rules go straight out the window when I am sitting in a place, surrounded by drunk individuals discussing politics and what they can do with their tongues. To an extent our deep truths come out with our mind is a little more "loose". Our true feelings, though amplified, shine through and we appear to become a modified version of ourselves. I love when people say "Oh I was drunk and I never would have done that if I had not been drinking." Well, duh, but you also have to remember that even though the events and processes of certain thoughts may be fuzzy the next day you were lucid enough to actually make a choice to do something at that particular (drunken) time. We all know what the effects of alcohol can do, so do not try to blame the yeast beverages for choices you made after consuming them. You are still responsible for your own actions. If you don't like the outcome then don't drink!
Man, I should totally have gone through with my Psych degree so I could be called as a witness for these drunk driving cases or acts of violence under the influence. Most of the 'professionals' these days are giving passes therefore giving the rest of the population examples that we can get away with murder ... literally. Just claim insanity or drunkeness. Pathetic, isn't it? PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, folks. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Another thing: why are these modern-day 'DJs' (and I use that term very, very loosely) getting paid for the crap that they play? I mean, for instance at one of the celebrity-hosted Super Bowl parties there was as certain 'rock star' that was the guest DJ for the evening and he literally played his iPod for us and the hundreds of other people that proceeded to knock me over in my 4 1/2 inch stilettos just to get a glimpse of a certain 'socialite'. I could play my old school cassette tapes and still get better tunes off than this person. My gosh. Get in there, spin a few (good) records and get the crowd moving. I had a better time that night moving my hips to throw backs of Whitney and Biz Markie inside. Next time I am totally for hire.
People watching is like a hobby. I have always been overly perceptive of my surroundings, but at the same time I am very selective as to what I watch and hear. In other words I watch and listen to what I want to watch and listen to. Good for me because I learn a lot. Bad for any boy who opts to take me out on the town for a date. Although I am a very good listener, chances are my eyes are wandering in search of stimulating people and acts. Not that the boy (in case it be you) isn't interesting or stimulating, it's just that my eyes feel compelled to scan the room.
Don't take it to heart. But if you do, don't leave the passageway open because I will stomp - and stomp hard.
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