Oh No She Did Not ...

I absolutely despise being told what to do. Always have and probably always will. I especially cannot stand the people that stand there and try to tell you every little detail of what you are supposed to do as if I do not already know. I am A) an adult and B) a pretty intelligent individual.

I have always learned best on my own, with help only when I ask for it. I hate having people looking over my shoulder and criticizing my way of doing things. I am a highly organized person and have a method for pretty much everything I do - no matter how out of order it may seem. I live in organized chaos. Meaning: that my life is very chaotic but I still manage to be organized and know exactly what I need to - and then some. I think I work better under pressure and thrive off of a little chaos. When I am bored, I am un-motivated. I love a challenge, but in the working world a challenge does not mean throw everything at me to see how much I can handle before I break under pressure. You have to be realistic and I am smart enough to know that while I do handle myself well under pressure, I do have a breaking point. I have actually reached that breaking point on several occasions and it has taken all of my strength and that of others not to lash out.

I am a laid back kinda girl and let a lot roll off my shoulders, but when enough is enough I will certainly let you know. I am not afraid of hurting feelings and my honesty can sometimes be brutal but I live my life according to how I expect to be treated. The truth is tricky. Just because it may not be what you want to hear, does not mean you have to concede and agree. Even when someone else offers the 'truth' or their version of it, does not mean that you have to accept that as your own 'truth'. For instance, I am a very sensitive person - emotional if you will - and things affect me differently than say my father, my sister or many of my friends. They are a little more thick-skinned. I lack most ability to feel physical pain so I may just make up for it with my emotions. I hate when people tell me that I do not have to be so 'dramatic'. It is not that I am being 'dramatic' but releasing exactly what I am feeling. If I do not let out my feelings right then I am sometimes afraid that it will slide down to the back only to come out later to the tenth degree and you will see me on "America's Most Wanted". Just remember that your methods may not be suitable for everyone else.

Back to the being told what to do thing ... I think I work best as my own boss. Granted I know my position on the totem pole and I respect it, I still think that I work better when I can do things in my own time and on my own accord. I am more likely to get something done when I don't have people barking in my ear about deadlines and can knock things out on my own. Funny what gets me motivated.

In school I was a notorious procrastinator. My parents were constantly hassling me about homework and / or projects. I would always fib about due dates and procedures. I would literally wait until 8 o'clock PM the night before an assignment was due to start it. I may be up until 1 AM and sometimes even into first period the next morning at school finishing it, but it always got done and was some of my best work. I also am not one of those people that does a little at a time. If I feel like I need to do something I do it all right then. Rarely will I have a 'continuous' project. Writing is different. I am working on a book as well as a business plan for my restaurant and am doing a little at a time, but that kind of thing means much more than say a project for work. They are far more personal, therefore I take my time with them because I want the best of the best. I expect nothing but the best from myself and I always manage to produce great results.

We must always pay closest attention to ourselves because our work is what gets us through life.